June 14, 2019 - Gateway City Arts - Holyoke, MA

Setlist

Age Like Wine > Talkin' Seattle Grunge Rock Blues [teaser] > Talking Reality Television Blues
Can't Complain
Ballad of the Devil's Backbone Tavern
D.B. Cooper
Just Like Overnight
[Sock Water Story] > The Ghost of Johnny Cash
Just Like Old Times
Moondawg's Tavern
Beer Run
[Garth Brooks Story]
If Tomorrow Never Comes
Alright Guy
Statistician's Blues
Too Soon To Tell
Tension
[The Banana Story]
Conservative Christian...
Like a Force of Nature > Free Bird [Collins/Van Zant] > Age Like Wine

Encore:
Check It Out
Sideshow Blues
Doublewide Blues
Ascending Into Madness

Audio

SOURCE: Matrix | QUALITY: A | COMPLETE: Yes | LENGTH: 97:51 | TAPER: Todd Snider Live
NOTES: Not available for sharing.

Notes

Variations

On Tension:

On Doublewide Blues:

Transcript

TODD SNIDER
Ladies and gentlemen, would you please make me feel so very welcome. 

I'm Todd Snider. I'll be on the guitar and harmonica this evening. My dog, Cowboy Jim, on the floor.

[Age Like Wine]

[Talkin' Seattle Grunge Rock Blues (teaser)] > [Talking Reality Television Blues]

He comes and goes. He has a few songs he really likes. Got a few that he's not into at all. But really, I'm not gonna tell you but there really is one that he leaves every time.

Oh, good. Got some water. Good.

I'm Todd Snider. I hope you dragged a friend out. If you're the friend that got dragged out, nice to meet you, man.

I've been doing this since man, oh, god. I've been doing this for a long fucking time.

Never had a watch. Never had a wallet. Ain't got no telephone. Not sure what the name of this town is or what day it is. But I can't complain.

[Can't Complain]

Killing it for my age, yeah? How long we've been going now, a couple hours? I was born to do this shit.

I wanna apologize to any of you that come to see me before and they noticed I got these fancy shoes on. I've been going around barefoot all these year. My doctor finally told me, he said, "You know, perhaps the reason that your health has been so shitty all these years is cause you walk around barefoot all the time." He also said drugs, probably, you know, was part of it. I figured I'd meet him halfway. Right?

[Ballad of the Devil's Backbone Tavern]

[D.B. Cooper]

AUDIENCE MEMBER
I love you, Todd!

TODD
Oh, that's a nice thing to yell at someone. 

I appreciate y'all giving me...I appreciate y'all giving me a chance to sing these songs for you. I have been out looking for them my whole life and I still, I don't know why I get such a kick out of them, but I'm always out trying to find them.

This one took a long time. I had this list of things started growing in my mind of stuff I remember from my day where I would be telling a story to my friend or another friend about something that happened and we'd realize as the story was going by how much of the stuff in the story just didn't even exist anymore. Right?

And then the chorus, you know, that's where I got the verses. Then the chorus, I was just walking around the woods fucking off. But, well, I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that too. Maybe I will. If I remember.

[Just Like Overnight]

[Singing] Day after day, it's like nothing's ever gonna change.

It's just like overnight how it feels like it ain't never gonna be the same.

That's the part I came up with while I'm walking out in the woods.

I tell you. This is kinda funny.

I'm in a group called the Hard Working Americans. It's a jam group.

[Turning attention to Cowboy Jim] He's doing some stage moves. Good boy. People say, did you train that dog to do that? I said, yeah. That's when he's gonna lick his balls right in front of everybody? Like, who trained their dog to do all that and then add that? And while you're at it... Isn't he good though? Look at that.

Anyway, man, so okay. So check this out.

[To Cowboy Jim] You're alright, I think.

I'm in in this group and, well, okay. No, I'll back up. Okay, so...I'm, oh, oh, oh, okay.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Eighteen minutes.

TODD
What? Is he alright? Yeah. Oh, he's just looking around.

Okay, so, I got to make up some songs with Loretta Lynn. Ya'll. And I've gotten to know her over the years. We've made up a handful of songs. She parties. She's hilarious. And if you check on her records, you can see I make up some of them songs with her.

[Applause]

Well, thank you.

I found I learned a lot from her about a lot of shit. And she's very funny, you know?

Anyway, she let me go to the studio with her when she was doing the song that we had written together. And the studio she let me go to with her was this place called the Cash Cabin Studios where Johnny Cash passed away. It's a little man cave cabin behind his house and he recorded in there and hung out in there. And then when he got sick he just stayed in there all the time.

And now no one uses that building except for Loretta and his son who lives in the house and he produces Loretta. And there's another singer named Jamie Johnson that goes and hangs out.

[Applause]

Yeah. I like him too.

[Attention back to Cowboy Jim, and off stage to Brian Kincaid] See if he needs something. Yeah. He needs something. He's looking for you, I think.

You alright? Well, we've been out on the road forever.

Anyway, so, I got to go to that place. I'll finish. This this will only take about an hour or two.

So I get to go to this cabin and I start having this reoccurring dream of waking up there on the floor and Johnny Cash standing there, and I see him. And the last time I have the dream, he says, "You're missing it," and he points to this corner of the room. And so I go out there with my group, the Hard Working Americans. And while we were out there...

I'll play you this song. I'm gonna shorten the story because I can feel like my dog wants me to sing.

But anyway, he told me this story and it's just true. It's true. If you don't believe it, I don't care.

[The Ghost of Johnny Cash]

Anybody have something they were hoping they'd here?

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Just Like Old Times!

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Moondawg's Tavern!

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Is This Thing Working?!

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Doublewide!

[Just Like Old Times]

I heard somebody yell for this one, too.

[Moondawg's Tavern]

Thank you very much. I'm having a lot of fun.

[More audience requests]

Oh, okay. I'll do that. I'll do that, too. I know all this shit.

[Beer Run]

I made up that a long time ago.

One afternoon, I was watching baseball in my house not long after that song had come out. I got a call from my manager. He said we had to talk. I had a bad feeling about it, man. That's how you know there's some bad shit going on. You can tell when that happened.

Man, he said, "You know that song of yours, Beer Run?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Well, guess Garth Brooks and George Jones are putting the song Beer Run out."

I started thinking, "I'm gonna get a pool!"

He said, "Hold up, son."

I said, "What?"

He said, "It's not the same Beer Run as your Beer Run."

I'm like, "Well, fuck."

He said, "Yeah. I think they might have took it from you."

"Now listen, man. I already have the baseball package. I don't really need a pool. Shit, I know enough Buffett songs to get myself by anybody's pool I want to. All I mainly don't wanna have to do is get dressed up or go to town or talk to anybody or meet anybody or any of that shit, man.

"So if these guys, if they got their beer song, that's fine with me. I got other songs about beer. I could say B-O-N-G-H-I-T, bong hit. I could do the do-run-run-run, but beer-run-run-run."

I told him leave it alone, but he didn't leave it alone.

He called them up and then he called me back and he said that they were saying I took it from them.

I still didn't give a shit. They could sue me for everything I got.

I said, "Man, leave it alone."

He called me back a month later. He said they had been to see an arbitrator.

Still, I never even looked it up. I just said, "What did that guy say?"

"He said that everybody was cool."

I said, "That's how I felt before you even called me to begin with."

Then about a year later, in Nashville we have these award trophy shows all the time. About four, five, six times a year on TV we'll give out awards for country music. And then, on days we don't do it on TV we just do it downtown.

So I got invited to one of these things. They're not as fun as they look but when they have an event where there's a bunch of singers though, like tonight, backstage there's ice and beer and a towel and shit. And it's just mine. Nobody else can fuck with it.

But when you're at the thing where there's, like, five or more different singers, they always get, like, nicer ice. Like, the ice is a carved dolphin. The carrots are cut up like a French fry, like, you know, they put a little time into it.

And also, if it's like a benefit or an award trophy thing, they don't just have beer and wine. You can get some liquor shots.

So they were doing one of them, and they called and told me ... they were doing a tribute to Tom T. Hall and asked if I'd sing one of his songs.

Fuck yeah. Right?

So I go down there to sing a Tom T. Hall song, and I say, oh, alright. Fucking, you know, there was a carved ice dolphin over by the free liquor.  I'm like, fuck, I'll go stand over there.

So me and my ... that story's getting long ... but there's a point to it, though.

My buddy and I are standing over there drinking free liquor and he points across the room. He says, "Hey. That guy over there is the guy that wrote Beer Run, too."

I said, "Let's go fuck with that guy."

Before I could even start trying to mess with him all I said was, "Hey, man. I'm Todd Snider."

He said, "Oh! Todd Snider. We had a little thing last summer, huh?"

I said, "What do you mean?"

He said, "Well, I wrote Beer Run, too."

And in my mind, I was thinking, "Yeah. You took it from me, man."

So I said, "Yeah. You took it from me, man."

He said, "Not technically, I didn't."

I said, "What do you mean 'not technically'?"

He explained the rules of songwriting, how many notes you could take before you had taken too many.

I said, "No. This is the guy that ought to be my fucking manager."

We had a few drinks. We had a good time. We got to talking. I consider him my friend now. He wrote a lot of big songs. You can't steal that many. He wrote If Tomorrow Never Comes. Remember that?

[Singing] If tomorrow never comes, will she know how much I loved her?

I said, "Damn. I wish I'd written that."

He wrote a lot of big songs.

I said, "Man, let's try to make up some kind of songs together."

He said, "Hell yeah. Let's do that."

I started heading back toward the ice dolphin and the free liquor. It was in that moment that I got this idea for this song I would like to perform for you now. This song that I wrote by myself. It's called If Tomorrow Never Comes.

[If Tomorrow Never Comes]

[Alright Guy]

Well, y'all sound really good singing to me. That's fun.

[Statistician's Blues]

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Too Soon To Tell!

TODD
Okay. That'd be good.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Slash story!

TODD
Alright. I haven't heard that story in a while.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
Vinyl Records!

TODD
Well, I can't do them all at the same time, or can I?

The first one I heard was this, but I'll try to remember all that shit. I usually just catch the first one I hear.

But this is one I made up ... all this shit, this is so much words and shit, but I made it up on this one walk. Not the music part, but the words. I just was walking up to get my fortune read. And then, on my walk back, mostly, I think, I started making up this song. I sing it all the time.

[Too Soon To Tell]

[Tension]

God knows what scares people these days. Not a lot of people want to say what they think anymore. Turbulent times, man. They've been saying that since I was twelve. People are getting sensitive, though, these days. Gotta watch what you say, especially in these times.

I was at a party, just a party with a few of my friends. We was watching that debate, you know, before the election. I come out of the kitchen with my snacks. I seen Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton both on the screen at the same time. All I said was one thing.

I said, "Oh, I love these two."

I lost every fucking friend I had that night. That's why I want to thank y'all for giving me a chance to share my opinions with you. I hope you can tell that I'm trying to do it with as much respect for yours as I can cause I'm glad you're here, man.

I smoke more dope before 9AM than most people do all day. If you learn anything at this show, oh, God help you.

Oh, man. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you. That made me think of something. Is it alright if I tell you a story?

I've been telling this story a lot this year because I feel like this story, you know, I tell a lot of stories in my life. But this one actually gives back. It's semi but it helps. If you pay attention to this, you'll come up with some info that you can take with you, and you'll be like, "Not only did I enjoy the beer song and get a shirt and everything, but, boy, took some info out of there I didn't expect to come out of there with."

So brace yourselves. You ready? Okay. Alright. Somebody time this. I'm going for nineteen.

Okay. So this starts, I was telling you, what made me think of it was in that in that last song I was talking about how people still dig drugs. That's kinda how, that is kinda how jam bands work. And that's how I got into a jam band is in my time off from this, I take LSD and go stand in the front row of jam shows and spin around with them chicks that have hairy armpits. It's a fucking weekend, man. That's my hobby.

So I meet a lot of those guys. I got to be in one of those groups. And in the group, all those good guys can pick. You know? I can play it by myself, but not really with other people that good. I'm not even knocking myself. I'm just saying that that group is exceptional. 

And so, and I can't believe they even let me sing because nobody ever came out and went, "Boy, you sing like a bird." But the band asked me to sing. They said because of my enthusiasm. I'm totally the lead singer. I don't play guitar. And in jam, I don't know if you, it's like the songs they go on for a fucking hour. And the singing part is just the first few minutes. Right? And I don't have a guitar, so why can't I take LSD and do the gigs?

I can.

It's only like having about a 10 foot different seat for me because I just sing a little bit and then I hang on to that fucking thing and wait til Dave nudges me and says, "Sing some more." You know? But a big portion of the show, I'm just doing that without the guitar going like this. And it's the funnest fucking of all time because we jam balls.

So nevertheless, to make a short story, probably take the rest of the night, there was this guy dressed as Uncle Sam in the front row holding up a vial of liquid LSD. That's clearly what it was. I know my shit. He clearly wanted me to have it, and I wanted to have it. So I went over and I took it. And then I turned around and I showed it to our drummer Dwayne and then I drank a little bit of it and I put the rest in my pocket.

And Dwayne likes to party. He's laughing. He said, "Alright."

So about a half hour later, our light show ... Holy Moses. We don't even have a fucking light show, man. But just the whole thing, it was a lot. It was a heavy thing. It was a lot. And I've taken a lot of LSD in my life. But I was like, oh, man. 

And then also in my mind, we were really good. And afterwards, nobody said we were terrible. So I felt like we got away with that. A lot like I feel like I'm getting away with this in a way. I'm not tripping balls. But I'm kinda baked.

Anyway, listen. I'm doing fine. Shit.

So nevertheless, the gig gets over. Everything seems fine.

Next day, we go down to Los Angeles. We're in a hotel right across from the gig. I go to take a shower. I take the shirt off and in the shirt is the rest of that LSD. And I got this "if some is good, more is better" philosophy that has guided me. Drank the rest of that shit. I jumped in the shower. I don't know how long I was in the shower.

Now this is true. Check this out.

I go to get out of the shower and I can't because the door keeps moving away. So I'm reaching for it and it's moving, and I'm not freaked out. I think it's funny. I go to try to get out. Takes a while, but I get out. Then I go to get out of the room. I got dressed. I just go to get out of my room. Still, same issue with the fucking door.

I'm like, I can't get out of my room. Now I got a time concern. But I'm still having fun and I'm chasing that door around the room laughing. I'm gonna sweat my shower out again already. Pretty pumpkin. I probably starting to look a little Manson family again.

Get down out of the room. Get down to the lobby. Probably looks weird because when we get to the lobby, same issue with the door, but it was a sliding door and I was trying to get out of it. And the guy, they called the "door man", main issue. His main thing.

He said, "What's the problem?"

I said, "I can't get out of this fucking door."

He's like, "I'm the door man."

And then he said ... sorry, I'm rambling. We've been on the road forever.

But he said, "Get out."

So I'm standing on that street and I can see the club. To this day, I don't know how come I didn't go over there or how I didn't get over there or how I didn't end up at the show. Right? But I didn't. I was somewhere else pretty soon. And I was walking around and I was having fun. And I was, in my mind, there was this nagging kind of, I'm supposed to be doing something or remembering something. And now, I was just trying, I couldn't remember what I was trying to remember, and I thought, you know ... 

My main motto has always been if I'm in doubt about something, I give up on it right a fucking way, man. So I sat down against a liquor store. There was already a couple of guys there. It didn't seem like a big thing. So I'm sitting there and have, I'm starting to relax and have a good time. The colors are all going by. It's on Hollywood. I'm into it. And these two kids, these hippie kids, come down the street and as they get closer, they're looking at me. 

I look back at them and the young girl says, "Aren't you Todd Snider?"

And I was like, "Oh, yeah. But where though? You know?"

And I was relieved though. I remember going, "Thank God you guys showed up."

And she's laughing at me. And I remember then she says, "We're on our way to see you sing for your group."

And so I said, "You guys gotta take me with you to that thing, man."

And they did.

So I go, I got these cats. I still know them. We went to the gig and I got into all in the back because I'm in the band. And I go to the group and I'm like, "Guys, we gotta cancel, man. I took away too much acid. Let's just play tomorrow."

And, Dave was like, "That's kinda how it fucking works, man."

And I was like, "Well, what am I supposed to do?"

And, Chad, our piano player, said that a banana was gonna help.

I said, "A banana's gonna help?"

He said, "Yeah."

So he goes and he gets a banana. He gives it to me, and fuck if I know it worked, man. We were great that night, too. It's on the computer if you wanna look it up. You can see. We rocked that house that night. I held that banana the whole fucking time, too.

But that was the educational, portion of the show. If you take too much LSD, a banana helps. You didn't expect to leave here with information.

Oh. Chad told me after the gig that if I had eaten the banana it would have really helped even more than it did.

[Conservative Christian...]

Y'all, thank you for being so kind to me. I had a good time, man.

Thank you to my brother Kevin Gordon.

[Like a Force of Nature] > [Free Bird] > [Age Like Wine]

Y'all, thank you for letting me be part of your evening. I won't forget it. Thank, y'all.

-- ENCORE --

[Check It Out]

[Sideshow Blues]

I'll send that out to my brother Jeff Austin.

[Doublewide Blues]

Y'all, thank you for being so kind to me. I've never played here. I think I played close to here. Yeah, I like this place better than wherever it was we was playing. I'll leave you with this one and it goes...

[Tuning]

Something like that. Yeah. Then the lyrics are there.

[Rest In Chaos]

Y'all, thank you. I really had a good time. Please don't forget to tip your bartender on your way out, and be safe.